Proudly Prejudiced
by Sledgehammer
Summary: Ranma meets the X-men. Not much more to it. PS: Despite what some people might think, Logan and Genma have similar builds. It's true!


Proudly Prejudiced  
  
A Ranma 1/2 + X-men crossover.  
  
Since I am neither Rumiko Takahashi nor Stan Lee, I must disclaim.   
And disclaim I shall, for I do not own either of these fine ensemble of   
characters. I merely stuck them in a blender and hit the 'chop' button.  
  
And now, on to the story...  
  
There are three sides to this tale. The first concerns a family of   
martial artists whose abilities go beyond the pale. The second belongs   
to a small squadron of mutant-hunting droids, sanctioned by a government   
of frightened old men trying to preserve their way of life by   
eliminating a perceived threat. Last, but not least, is a band of   
superheroes, mutants all, dedicated to peace and equality between two   
disparate sub-species.  
  
In the long run that is.  
  
But for the foreseeable future, they were going to have their   
hands full protecting innocent people from a blood-bath.   
  
Wolverine, having gotten wind of a test run of advanced Sentinel   
units from some friends in the Far East, enlisted the aid of some of his   
fellow X-men. His sources had informed him that the Powers That Be in   
Tokyo were troubled by a string of disturbing and destructive incidences   
in one small area of the city. There was a unanimous consensus that the   
troubled area should be dealt with... permanently.  
  
And it seems that their intervention could not be more timely, for   
just as the X-men's Blackbird flew over the quiet suburbs of Nerima, so   
too was a flight of Sentinels, intent on wiping a sleepy little dojo   
from the face of the planet. Wolverine, along with Cyclops, Gambit,   
Storm, Phoenix, Beast, and the Professor himself, prayed fervently that   
they were not too late to save lives.  
  
Inside the house, the blissfully unaware inhabitants were eating   
their mid-day meal, what most westerners refer to as 'lunch', when they   
heard the unmistakable roar of turbine jets. Any other family would have   
been out the door gawking at the giant robots in a heartbeat, but not   
them. No, the food was just too good.  
  
"Surrender-mutants-or-be-destroyed." Came a deep, electronic voice   
from outside.  
  
"What was that?" Nabiki asked, before returning to nibble on a bit   
of shrimp.  
  
"Sounded like English. Something about 'surfing militants must be   
deployed' or something like that." Ranma quickly polished off his food,   
and stood up. "I'll go see what's up."  
  
He was quite surprised upon opening the shoji doors, and finding   
himself face-to-face with a foot. A really big one at that.  
  
"Target-designate: Saotome-Ranma. Eliminate." This time, there was   
no mistaking the translation. Especially with a glowing palm-phaser   
being pointed right at him. "Target-bio-signs-detected-in-edifice.   
Preparing-to-eliminate."  
  
Naturally, Ranma easily dodged the blast heading his way. The   
others would not be so lucky, as they really had no advance warning. The   
beams coming from the hands of the bastard children of the Daleks and   
the 50-Foot Woman would vaporize them instantly.  
  
Except that it didn't.  
  
In a split second, five saintly mutants carried five innocent   
humans and a panda from the wreckage of the Tendo Dojo to a safe   
distance, while a sixth stood atop a hovering jet firing rapid-fire   
optic blasts, expertly ventilating the artificial constructs.  
  
Wolverine landed in the yard first, holding in his arms a short-  
haired girl who looked around curiously, wondering what the heck was   
going on. Gambit came next, holding two more young ladies, one of whom   
was blushing demurely, the other with a piranha-like grin on her face.   
Storm came next, flying out while holding a man who was trying to look   
stolid, but the fountain of tears, trembling lip, and whimpers about his   
lost home ruined the affect. Right behind them came Phoenix,   
telekinetically ferrying a sedate-looking lady and her katana outside.   
Last, but not least, was the ever ebullient Beast, lugging a large Panda   
on his back, which seemed reluctant to give up its plate of food.  
  
Akane, being the first one out, was also, unfortunately, the first   
one to speak. She took one look at Wolverine, and screamed, "GET AWAY   
FROM ME, YOU FREAK!"  
  
Being mutants, the X-men had heard that phrase far too many times   
in their lives. Most of the X-men grimaced, since most of them were at   
least partially fluent in the language. Wolverine, however, ignored her   
outburst, and lit up one of his renowned stogies, as if to say, 'I'd   
rather wrap by lips around this big, fat, smelly cancer-stick than keep   
my hands on you.'  
  
At the same time, Ranma trotted up to them, saying, "Jeez, that's   
just like you, Akane! A guy goes and saves your life, and all you can do   
insult him!"  
  
Not to be deterred, the youngest Tendo pointed an accusing finger   
at the offending mutant. "But look at him! He's wearing his underwear   
over his pants!" If someone had told Wolverine five minutes ago that he   
would be spitting out a fine Cuban cigar, he would have thought they   
were nuts. Yet that's exactly what he did, and he nearly hit Beast with   
it too!  
  
"And that guy too!" She pointed at Cyclops, still standing on the   
nose of the Blackbird. "And look at those women wearing vinyl! They look   
like they stepped out of an S&M magazine! And him! He's not wearing   
anything but his shorts! And how do we know that guy is wearing anything   
under that trenchcoat?! We're surrounded by perverts!"  
  
"Professor," Cyclops mused from his perch atop the jet. "I think   
we should go. That girl is starting to scare me."  
  
"You and me both, Scott," Came the reply. "You and me both...."  
  
TBC?  
  
Author's Notes: This one goes out to all the people who have   
written Ranma/X-men x-overs, and portrayed Akane (among others) as   
bigoted. NYAH-NYAH!!!  
  
Speaking seriously though, I have little respect for people who   
try to make a career out of hating a fictional character. Especially if   
that person writes a story where expounding on that person's every bad   
point is the main focus of the fic. That's where I draw the line,   
personally.  
  
For example:  
  
OTHERS: Genma Saotome walked down the street one day. This is an   
offence to the Heavens because he's a lazy, good-for-nothing coward who   
skipped out on his wife and raised his son in squalor while beating him   
daily and starving him while pigging out and becoming as fat as a   
beached whale. But he's going to get his soon when his wife divorces him   
and his son disowns him and all the people he's cheated over the years   
catch up with him and beat the crap out of him blah blah blah...  
  
SLEDGE: One day, Pantyhose Taro came barreling out of the sky.   
He's a real a-hole, and deserves the ass-whooping Ranma is about to   
administer. Violence ensues. The End.  
  
See the difference?  
  
I don't blame them, though. They've most likely been influenced by   
the English dub of the anime, with its sub-par artwork, hacked   
translation, and talentless voice-actors. Maybe if they read the manga   
more often (and a finer body of work I have yet to find), then possibly   
they could have written something a bit less... hackneyed. Oh well,   
hindsight is 20/20.  
  
This has been Sledgehammer, keepin' it real... 


End file.
